i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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