She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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