My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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