so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
