Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
