I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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