we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this boner is exhausting
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
