i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
