i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
