just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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