i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize