East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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