Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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