Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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