Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
