She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
