I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
