And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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