My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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