i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
