Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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