the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
