I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
