her facebook's as public as her vagina
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
