Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
