it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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