I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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