Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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