Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
