You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
