thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
