I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
