Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just want to make out with him forever
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
