Dual....:-)
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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