Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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