This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
