my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize