Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
