pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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