Who did Billy Mays play for?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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