I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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