Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
