and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
