Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
