Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
