i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
