Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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