when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You can't just leave with hair like that
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
