OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
