Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
