I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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