i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
