Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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