I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
