you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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