You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
