i jhust puked up my retainher.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
50% drunk capacity currently
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
