so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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