I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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