I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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