I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
