Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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