the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
