It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
